[NOTE: This is a rewritten piece from scratch that I originally wrote in a document that was lost when my Macbook Pro’s Hard drive broke entirely a month ago. It was topical and amusing to me at the time hence my keenness to rewrite it this evening].

Recently… okay, relative to other aspects of human history, RECENTLY, Michael Gove appeared on Youtube, unexpectedly discussing Game of Thrones. The offending, and by offending, I mean, masterpiece of a video, is here (and no, I genuinely don’t mind increasing the video’s traffic, it stands as Michael Gove’s greatest achievement). And no one knows why unless they consider the likelihood that he himself wants to be on a throne.

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However, let’s save ourselves on the political analysis. Let’s analyse the most confusing video to appear on YouTube. It appears on JAMES DELINGPOLE’s channel. Now, no-one quite knows who or what a James Delingpole is. All we know for sure is that he has a YouTube channel called ‘The James Delingpole Channel’. It sounds like a weird insurance company, or a odd man. He is an odd man. We can presume that Mr Delingpole is the protagonist with whom we share a point of view status in the second half of Gove’s groundbreaking film. I hope he doesn’t me referring to the art as a film, we can assume that’s what he was going for.

The James Delingpole Channel’s previous works concern a speech to The Burges Group, with the Conservatives, a video where he ‘rails against the rent-seeking tosser who has erected a bat-chomping eco-crucifix above the Welsh valley which used to be a paradise on earth’, showing his attitude to environmentally friendly policies, imaginatively titled ‘Wanker Wind Farmer’, and ‘My Lovely Horse’, which appears to be a minute of advertising the titled animal. His latest masterpiece is the one featuring the recently demoted MP in a guest starring role. Call me crazy, but they might be friends.

It’s not that the acting is unconvincing, it’s just that it is downright confusing. Delingpole tells about his favourite month, October, by failing to explain the cobwebs and sun that are in his garden. However, soon, Delingpole is going to be baffled by basic grammar, asking ‘who is that in my garden?’, AFTER saying ‘excuse me’. Maybe we can assume that Delingpole has a similar approach to language that A Clockwork Orange author, Anthony Burgess had, and believes that individuality and cultural understanding are asserted by developing your own version of it. He shouts ‘Who is that person in my garden?’ as Gove. In the third person. This is either meta referential or idiocy. We’ll assume its somewhere in between. Delingpole’s excitement cannot be contained after ‘realising’, that are dealing with ‘THE GOVERNMENT CHIEF WHIP IN MY GARDEN’, and not questioning Gove’s attitude towards trespassing, Delingpole decides that the camera does exist after all, and proceeds to let us, the humble viewer, in on the plan: to ask the government chief whip (something for which Gove is surely as famous for yet), ‘a searching question’.

Whoa. This is big. What could this question be? His philosophy on education explained at last? His thoughts on the changing attitudes of society? His religious beliefs? His plans for the future of his career and how he plans to help improve society.

Errr. Not quite.

One awfully-edited cross-fade later, Delingpole asks Mr Gove the following question: ‘What is your favourite scene, Mr Gove, from Game of Thrones?’

We were NOT expecting this, it is fair to say.

Firstly, let’s dissect that. He asks all his questions with a random interjection of the person-being-spoken-to’s name in the middle for no reason. Delingpole’s grasp on the language that he confidently uses is concerning. Secondly, Michael Gove had knowledge of Game of Thrones. That in itself is fairly mind-blowing. Also, Gove is wearing the most disconcerting shade of either purple or pink ever seen.

Gove, being a politician, is immune to questions, even one as friendly as this, and proceeds to tell us that his ‘favourite character is undoubtedly, Tyrion Lannister’, somewhat missing the ‘scene’ aspect of the question. It’s okay, as he definitely understands and loves that Tyrion’s ‘thought by some to be a toxic figure’, and randomly brings up the fact that Tyrion and Tywin have ‘the most complicated of relationships.’ His misinterpretation of words is soon resolved by explaining almost the entire season two episode, ‘Blackwater’. He has a love of the fact that his father, Tywin, saves Tyrion and his ‘small band of loyal followers’, and tells us that it reminds of him of Winston Churchill. It reminds of him of Churchill’s famous words, ‘Never, never, never surrender.’

Well, we could analyse this for considerable understanding of Gove’s political intentions or ambitions. However, sadly, we have mostly laughed it off. Gove’s understanding of popular television is incredible. We should just sit amazed and bemused as is.

With the finest piece of innuendo in conservative YouTube history, Delingpole tells Gove that the information provided made it ‘well worth having you in my Garden Mr Gove, thank you’, using maximum irony or sycophancy, we just cannot tell.

I hope you have enjoyed the film as much as I have. I can only pray that Michael Gove considers becoming a YouTuber and endlessly takes part in direct-camera analyses of Game of Thrones more often instead ruining our society and failing to keep Conservative MPs on side.

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